FRAGMENTED Read online
Page 16
It’s building quickly.
I writhe beneath him as I meet each thrust. I'm so close... His hips steadily move between mine as I gasp for air and ride sensations that are taking me higher and higher.
Nathan’s eyes stare into mine as he thrusts into me with a determination that glints in his eyes. His eyes tell me that this is all about me. It’s not his pleasure he’s searching for, it’s mine.
That knowledge sends me over the edge, and I'm exploding. My lips part, and I can't hold back my cries of pleasure. Nathan quickly covers my mouth with his as the tempo of his hips quicken even more. He's breathing harshly against me, and as I slowly begin to grow limp with satisfaction, his lips leave mine. I watch as his eyes grow heavy-lidded, his breath catching as he thrusts harder. Not once does he look away as he loses himself in my body.
When he goes over the edge, I watch as his eyes darken into an intense black, then they seem to glaze over slightly as he lets out a low, muffled shout of release. After his last thrust, he stills against me, and the only sound in the room is our ragged breathing.
Our chests are damp where they've been pressed together, and Nathan carefully eases down until he can rest his head on my breasts. He's still supporting most of his weight and being careful of my cast, but I love the feel of him wanting to be close to me. His head rises and falls with my every breath, and I can see his back moving as he tries to calm his breathing.
TWENTY-ONE
Nathan
I can’t stop staring at her.
It’s morning, and Elena is still sprawled in my bed as she sleeps. Last night had been amazing, but I am also getting in over my head. Two days ago, I’d had no intention of acting on the attraction, but witnessing her so broken over a stranger’s cruel and careless words made me realize how much I’ve grown to like her. It was impossible to distance myself from her when she was hurting, and it opened doors that I hadn’t planned on opening. But once those doors cracked, there was no stopping it all from happening.
She makes me want to be a better person, and I want to be there for her. I want to show her that she deserves the best in life no matter how her life began or the choices she’s made.
If this is what it’s like to fall in love, I’m risking everything to explore this with her. If I fall hard enough, and things fall apart, or she can’t handle being vulnerable with me, it’ll affect the other alters as well. But fuck, she’s got so many doubts rolling around her head that one of us needs to remain positive. It’s ironic considering I’ve always been a pessimistic bastard, but Elena brings forth something within me that I hadn’t known was there.
I study her, taking in the beautiful sight. Her dark hair is resting around the pillow, and a strand has fallen along her delicate jawline. She’s lying on her back, her face turned towards me while she sleeps—her pink lips slightly parted as she dreams. The bedsheet is twisted around her, and yet she’s still managed to keep her nudity hidden as it bunches around her naked form.
Elena is a bed hog and sheet stealer.
My chest tightens.
I wouldn’t mind her stealing my bed and sheets every morning. The world has always been so dark to me, but it’s changing and evolving, and I want to share it with her.
My fingers itch to capture this moment with a sketch, or better yet, on canvas. She’s so serene and beautiful in her sleep, and I can visualize the kind of painting I’d like to do of her. I don’t want to leave her side, but as the minutes pass, she shows no signs of stirring.
The need to go to the studio is strong.
I wait a bit longer and then give in, knowing she likely needs the rest anyway.
TWENTY-TWO
Elena
The last thing I expect is to wake in Nathan’s bed all alone. At first, I thought maybe he was in the bathroom, but now as I gaze around the masculine bedroom, I realize I am completely alone.
As I clutch the sheet to my naked breasts, I feel oddly abandoned. It’s not like I was expecting declarations of love or anything. Things are just too complicated for that, but I had expected him to at least be here when I woke up.
Deep within me, where my deepest doubts lie hidden, a little voice hints that maybe he’d used me for sex. I quickly squash that thought before it can really grab hold. If he were anyone else, I’d be going down that dark path, but Nathan doesn’t deserve that doubt. I know him.
I rub my face, knowing he probably has good reason, and I’m just overthinking things. Besides, the reasons don’t really matter anyway. What matters is the way I’d reacted, and the instant moment of doubt that had followed. This is happening way too fast, and everything I’m feeling is frightening.
Anxious to begin the day, I climb out of the bed and quickly dress. Thankfully, I don’t run into anyone on my way to my own room, and I carefully shower, taking care to keep my cast from getting wet. I can’t believe how late I’d slept, which is probably another reason why Nathan hadn’t lingered in bed.
In the kitchen, I find a bowl half-filled with an assortment of sliced fruit. My face heats. Someone had taken over breakfast duty because I hadn’t been present.
Damn it.
This job is important, and I can’t put it on the backburner because of Nathan. No matter what is happening in my personal life, I can’t ignore my responsibilities.
Cameron wanders into the kitchen. “Morning,” he says when he sees me.
I can’t read his expression, but I feel self-conscious for not being around to fix breakfast this morning. “Morning,” I murmur.
He gives me a side long glance as he heads for the refrigerator. “Everything okay?”
No, it’s not. I need to try to pull myself together, and in order to do that, I need some space from Nathan. “I’m just thinking about all the errands I have to run today,” I tell him instead.
He pauses by the refrigerator, his eyes on me now. “Want me to take you?”
“I’m sure you have enough going on today.”
“Actually, I’m wide open,” he corrects.
After my last incident with an Uber driver, I’m not too keen on calling for another. “Are you sure you don’t mind?” I can’t help but ask, wanting to give him one last chance to back out.
“I wouldn’t offer if I did.”
True. “I’ll be ready in five.”
His eyebrows lift. “You want to go right now?”
“Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.” He opens the refrigerator and takes a can of soda from the top shelf. “I’ll meet you in the garage.”
Ten minutes later, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of the dark SUV while Cameron drives. I’m perfectly aware that I’m hiding from Nathan and what happened last night, but I’d rather have time to think before I see him again. I can’t believe I’d gone and done exactly what I was avoiding, but I can’t bring myself to regret it. The intimacy with him, it was…amazing. I’d felt things I’ve never experienced before, and for the short time I was with him, I felt truly connected to someone—and not just physically.
He’s right. There’s something there between us, and it’s not just physical attraction.
“I know this is none of my business, but I have to ask, do you care about him?” Cameron asks, his voice cutting into my thoughts.
My eyes swing towards him.
His attention is on his driving, but he’s aware of my gaze on him. “Griffin and I have noticed that you and Nathan have been growing close.”
“I do care about him,” I say carefully.
He glances at me, and his hazel eyes turn grim. “I think you care about him a lot, but now you’re running,” he says disapprovingly.
“It’s not what you think.” A frown tugs on my lips as I wonder how he even knows Nathan and I were together last night. “I just need time to collect my thoughts,” I add, knowing it sounds lame. Truthfully, what goes on between Nathan and me is none of Cameron’s business. Yet, I hesitate to go as far as to point that out to him. I’m building relatio
nships with him and Griffin, so I take care to not send those relationships backwards.
Cameron nods and focuses on traffic. “Understandable. Nathan is a very complicated man.” He then adds, “Elena, if you don’t think you can handle it, don’t go down this road with him.” His eyes slide to mine. “You have the power to hurt him—deeply.”
“You don’t think he has the same ability to hurt me?” I ask levelly.
His gaze lingers on mine a second longer before he faces forward once more. “What are you really running from?”
I stiffen and decide enough is enough. “I don’t want to discuss this with you any further. I know you’re only trying to help, and you’re protecting Nathan, but Nathan and I need to figure this out without anyone intervening.”
He looks at me respectfully. “Well said.”
Thankfully, Cameron allows the subject to rest, and I spend the majority of the day running small errands. Much to my surprise, Cameron was easy to get along with, and we even had lunch together and shared good conversation before we made our way back to the estate.
By the time I re-enter the house, I know I need to speak with Nathan. Going out today may have sent the wrong message to him—no matter how well intentioned it’d been.
Griffin happens to mention that Nathan had been looking for me earlier, and I feel guilty but push it aside. Perhaps I should have stuck around, but then I wouldn’t have been able to think about the situation with a clarity that I wouldn’t have had while being on the premises.
I’m a little nervous as I approach the closed studio door, and I knock.
The door almost immediately opens, and when Nathan sees me, relief flickers across his handsome features. “I meant to be there when you woke this morning, but I got sidetracked with a new project. Time slipped away from me,” he apologizes before I can say anything.
And there it is, a simple and reasonable explanation for this morning, but my mind had automatically wanted to go to the worst-case scenario.
Nathan studies me and motions for me to come into the studio so we can talk further. I step inside, and he closes the door behind me. “Would you like to see why I left this morning?”
“Sure.”
“It isn’t finished yet,” he warns.
I’m led to the easel, and I stare at the painting. It’s of me, sleeping. The sheets are bunched at my hips as I rest on my stomach, a hint of curves where my breasts are beneath me. My skin looks vibrant and dewy, and the position of my body aligns perfectly with the mattress. My head is resting on a plush pillow, my face is turned and in full view.
I…look beautiful and serene.
I’m left speechless.
“You were gone all day. Did I screw up that badly this morning?”
My eyes tear themselves from the painting so I can focus on him. He’s watching me intently. “No. I have a lot of insecurities, Nathan,” I begin.
Understanding flickers in his gaze. “You doubted me this morning.”
I don’t bother denying it, and I take a shaky breath and fully face him. “I feel that if I put myself entirely in your hands, the rug will be yanked out from under my feet. I’m scared that if I allow myself to be truly happy, that it’ll be taken away from me.”
He moves closer and touches my cheek with his paint-stained fingers. “You’re not the only one that has that fear. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I might be on the brink of something good along with a sense of peace over the way I am.”
“So what do we do?” I ask as my eyes search his.
He presses his forehead against mine. “We fight for what we want and focus on the present.”
I wrap my arms around his waist the best that I can with my cast, nestling my cheek against his hard chest. Through his shirt, I can hear the steady beating of his heart, and it comforts me. I’d had every intention of ending this…thing between us, but I just can’t. Instead, I take a deep breath and say, “I can try.”
He pulls back and peers down at me. “Let’s not rush anything and just let things happen as they may. No pressure,” he suggests.
I nod, and he leans down and presses his lips to mine.
The kiss is soft and tender, and way too short when Nathan pulls back and glances at the painting. “I needed to get the image on canvas. What do you think?” he asks.
I study it. “I…think I like it.” My brow creases. “Will it go with the collection?”
He looks like I’d just said that I wanted him to burn it. “Absolutely not. This one is mine.”
His tone brings a smile to my face. “Okay.”
A knock sounds on the studio door, and I’m disappointed by the interruption.
Nathan sighs, irritation flickering over his face. “Yeah?” he calls.
The door opens, and Griffin sticks his head in. “Your uncle is on line two.”
Nathan’s lips visibly tighten. “I’ll be there in five.”
Griffin nods and quickly closes the door.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
Nathan scrubs his face with his hands. “We’re not seeing eye to eye on something.”
“Company related or personal?” I can’t help but inquire. I haven’t forgotten the way Nathan’s uncle had looked at me when we’d been caught kissing here in the studio.
“Both. Thanks to Corbin’s journal, I know the business stuff was already—or supposed to have been—laid to rest.” He grimaces. “My uncle has learned that he can’t sway Corbin’s opinion once it’s been made, so then comes at me, knowing I want nothing to do with it. That makes him hope that I’ll just give in and override Corbin’s decision.”
“You trust Corbin?”
“I do,” he admits. “Corbin’s focused on the future of the company while my uncle seems to focus on what can bring in more money as fast as possible versus thinking long term.”
“The company is doing well, isn’t it?”
“Yes, which is why we don’t need to be making erratic decisions.”
I nod in agreement and then ask, “And the personal?”
His expression seems to shut down. “Same old shit. He wants me integrated.” Nathan backs away from me and heads for the door. “I need to handle this.”
His earlier mood has been completely transformed into one much darker, and I’m worried about him. “Do you want me to wait for you?”
He shakes his head as he opens the door. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I say, trying to hide the disappointment.
Nathan notes it, and his expression softens. “My conversation with him will likely sour the rest of the evening, and I’ll be a moody bastard. I don’t want that to taint our time together; we have enough shit working against us as it is.”
I nod with understanding. “If you need me, you know where to find me,” I offer.
He gives me a reassuring smile. “I know.”
TWENTY-THREE
Elena
Trying to make breakfast with a cast is certainly trying, and I’m already counting down the weeks until it can be removed. Blue is patiently sitting at my feet, waiting for me to drop something. I pick up a piece of bacon and toss it to him. He practically swallows it whole and then lazily makes his way out of the kitchen now that he’d gotten his way.
I shake my head with bemusement and make certain that everything is keeping warm for when the guys surface. The smile fades as I think of Nathan. I’d wanted to check on him last night but had also wanted to respect his request to be left alone. His uncle sounds demanding, but I can understand why he gives his uncle his time. He is, after all, Nathan’s only other living relative.
I look up as Nathan enters the kitchen. “Morning,” I greet with a smile.
He blinks and promptly scowls at my arm in the sling. “What the fuck happened?”
My smile slips. I’d naturally assumed he was Nathan since they both tend to wear jeans and dark shirts. “Knight?”
A slow building burn develops in his gaze. “Disappo
inted?”
Quickly, I pull myself together. “No, not at all.”
He shakes his head and pulls out a stool, sitting down. “Liar. Were you hoping for Nathan or Oliver?”
Sensing I’d hurt his feelings, I walk over and touch his forearm. “I’m always happy to see you,” I tell him, and I mean it. I will always have a special place in my heart for Knight.
His eyes lock on mine for a long moment before they shift to the sling. “What happened?”
I move away and retrieve a plate so I can dish him up some egg casserole. “I tripped over my own feet trying to get out of the way of a snake.” I set the plate in front of him.
He frowns. “Outside?”
I hand him a set of silverware. “Here in the kitchen.”
“Is it broken?” he asks, setting the utensils down as he focuses on our conversation.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Damn. I hope you’ve been taking it easy.”
I’m amused by his concern. “You know if I can walk, I’m going to work.” I move across the kitchen and pull a glass from the cupboard. After I set it on the island, I retrieve the orange juice from the refrigerator.
Knight takes a bite of the casserole as I pour juice into his glass. “Thanks, this is good.”
I smile and go about cleaning the kitchen while he eats.
After a while, his voice breaks the silence. “Nathan treating you any better?”
“We’ve been getting along.” I turn on the dishwasher and scan the kitchen area. I think everything is done, and I can move onto the rest of my daily routine.
“Good. I’d hate to hear he’s still being difficult,” Knight says.
Far from it, I think to myself. The conversation with his uncle must not have gone well since Knight has taken over. I recall the journal and decide now would be a good time to bring it up.
I walk over to him, hoping he’ll be open to the idea. “Knight, there’s a journal on the nightstand. I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but it’s a great way to stay updated on what’s going on. If you could write in it, it would be helpful to you and the others,” I say lightly.