FRAGMENTED Read online

  Knight’s brow creases, betraying that he’s less than thrilled over the suggestion. “You come up with that idea?”

  “I’m just trying to help.”

  He nods and says nothing more about it as Griffin wanders into the kitchen.

  Once I know both men are taken care of, I excuse myself and get on with the rest of my day. This place is huge, and dust collects daily. It also doesn’t help that even though Blue is a lab with short hair, he still sheds.

  As I work, I barely run into Knight. It’s not until after dinner that he finds me out on the patio, sipping iced tea and relaxing in my favorite lounger. It’s become an evening habit, and it’s nice to simply enjoy the beauty of the view.

  Knight approaches, and I feel my mouth go dry. He’s shirtless and visibly sweaty. “There you are,” he comments.

  There’s a grease stain on his chest that I ache to rid him of. It’s odd being familiar with that body but not so much the person currently inhabiting it. “Did something happen?” I ask with concern.

  “What?” He glances down at himself to where my eyes had been focused just moments ago. “Oh, no. I bought an old Harley, and I’ve been working on it in the garage.”

  I try to recall if there’d been an old motorcycle in the garage yesterday when I’d ran my errands with Cameron. I don’t think there had been. “You bought one?”

  He flashes white teeth as he grins. “Yeah.”

  Nathan’s going to love that. “Why not buy a new one?”

  Knight snorts. “What’s the fun in that? I like working with my hands.”

  Something else that Knight has in common with Nathan.

  “Come out with me tonight,” Knight suddenly suggests.

  “That didn’t go over so well last time,” I say dryly, referring to his night spent in jail.

  He looks amused. “You think that’s going to deter me from enjoying your company?”

  “You can enjoy my company here,” I point out.

  “Can’t. You’re all work and no play. Come on, Elena. Come out with me,” he coaxes, his voice lowering almost seductively.

  My lower belly immediately flutters from his gravelly tone, and I try to ignore the response he stirs within me. He’d promised not to hit on me anymore, but with that tone… “It’s not a good idea, Knight.”

  A muscle has begun to throb in his jaw. “I’m going to shower and head out then.”

  “Be safe,” I say softly.

  I watch him walk away until he disappears inside. That’s when it sinks in that he’s going to probably find a woman to have sex with tonight. The thought makes my heart ache, and I have to remind myself that he’s not Nathan, but that doesn’t make the ache lessen.

  I’m just now beginning to realize that I might have Nathan’s loyalty, but I don’t have Knight’s, and it’s not mine to request. This is another hurdle that might just break my heart yet.

  * * *

  The next day, I’m oddly anxious to learn whether Knight is still present. At breakfast, Cameron lets it slip that Knight’s already up and about and had gone for a morning run with Blue. So that answers that question. My curiosity is appeased, and now I dwell over how I’m going to handle my emotions around him. I’d barely slept last night, and I have no reason to be upset over his going out last night, but it still bothers me.

  Turns out, I was worrying over nothing, because I don’t come across him during most of the day, which is odd. Either he’s avoiding me, or we just keep missing each other. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed.

  It’s not until I overhear Griffin and Cameron talking in the office with the door wide open that I begin to worry over Knight’s mood.

  “He’s a surly bastard,” Cameron’s saying.

  “No shit. I nearly got a wrench to the head the last time I stuck my head in the garage.”

  “His mood is odd.”

  “Anything happen when he went out last night?” Griffin asks.

  “No. He drank, didn’t make it a point to talk to anyone, and then he fucked some blonde in the parking lot behind the dumpster,” Cameron says dryly. “Usually he at least makes use of the restrooms, but they ended up out behind the building.”

  It’s as if someone’s sank a knife into my heart. I shouldn’t feel this way. He is not Nathan.

  “What about this morning?” Griffin asks warily.

  “He woke up in this mood. At first, I thought maybe he was Brick.”

  “Christ, that’s all we need,” Griffin mutters.

  I don’t bother hiding the fact that I’m eavesdropping as I approach the open doorway. “Do we need to worry about Brick appearing?” I ask. If there’s a chance that Brick might appear, I need to prepare myself.

  Both men glance at me but don’t seem bothered by my interruption.

  “If he’s mad enough, yes,” Griffin says.

  That makes me wince. The last thing I need is another run-in with Brick.

  “I’d avoid Knight until Nathan reappears,” Cameron suggests.

  There has to be a reason for Knight’s foul mood, and I wonder if it’s possible that it’s my fault. He can’t be upset that I didn’t want to go out with him…can he? I mean, he appeared to be disappointed, but that wouldn’t put him in such a foul mood. The expression on his face when I’d turned him down flickers in my mind. Or would it? I don’t know Knight as well as I know Nathan.

  “Is there something we don’t know, Elena?” Cameron tactfully inquires.

  I blink and find them both watching me. “I…think I should go talk to Knight.”

  Cameron scans my expression. “You think you might know why he’s such a crabass?”

  “I don’t know, maybe,” I hedge.

  Both look at me expectantly.

  I just shake my head, refusing to go into detail. “He’s down in the garage?”

  Griffin looks at me doubtfully. “Tread carefully.”

  “I will,” I promise.

  Down in the garage, I find Knight shirtless and clad in only jeans. He’s entirely focused on working on a partially disassembled motorcycle. When he hears my footsteps, he looks up with aggravation, but immediately hesitates when he sees me.

  I move closer, studying him. “Are you mad at me?” I dare to ask, getting straight to the point.

  “No,” he clips out, wiping his hands on a rag and rising lithely to his feet.

  “Did I do something?” I press.

  He turns on me, folding his arms across his chest. “You sure you want to have this conversation?”

  Shoot, I am the reason for his current mood. “I think we need to.”

  He nods. “Fine. I saw the way you looked at me last night.”

  I look at him questioningly.

  “Like you’d like to be the one to clean the grease off my chest and maybe do a bit more exploring while you’re at it.” His eyes sear mine. “There are times when you look at me, and you have no idea that I can see how much you want me. I’m tired of feeling this attraction for you and not being able to do a damned thing about it because you keep denying the obvious,” he says bluntly.

  I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I’d had no idea… I’m horrified that I’ve been that easy to read.

  He continues on, his dark eyes holding mine captive. “I know you’re attracted to me, and when we kiss, it fucking burns. I meant it when I said sex isn’t part of your job, but damned Elena, how can you keep denying what we both obviously want? You think I’ll look at you differently afterward, I won’t. I guarantee I’ll want more, if you’re willing.”

  I’m floundering here, because this is the worst thing that could possibly happen. I’m with Nathan, but if Knight finds out, he’ll be incredibly hurt. I don’t know how to balance my relationship with Knight without him finding out.

  I bite my lip and hesitate. How do I fix this?

  “I thought I could handle your wishes and keep things platonic, but it’s bloody hard as hell. And trying to distract myself from you
with someone else is just making it worse,” Knight bites out.

  When I came down here, I wasn’t prepared for a conversation like this, and now I’m regretting my hasty actions. Why hadn’t I thought this through?

  He rakes a hand through his hair, a gesture so similar to Nathan, and frustration etches across his features. “I’m a dick.”

  I frown, not quite sure why he’d just made such a statement. “No, you’re not,” I instinctively protest.

  He gives me a sardonic look. “I assured you that your job had nothing to do with sex, yet here I am wanting just that.”

  I gaze at him, debating how to handle this. I can’t tell him I’m with Nathan, or it’ll be like pouring fuel on an already open flame. The reason I’d come down here was to make him feel better, not worse.

  Knight shakes his head, looking disgusted with himself. “Just go. It’s my problem, not yours.”

  I hate that he’s feeling this way. “Knight, I can’t do casual sex. It has to mean something, otherwise I’ll feel…” My lips purse, not wanting to say it out loud.

  He looks at me sharply and recognition shines in his gaze. “I fucked up when I said it’d be just sex between us, Elena.” He motions between us. “This thing, it’s clearly more, or I wouldn’t be feeling this way.”

  Everything about Knight screams casual sex, and I can’t help but doubt his words.

  He must catch sight of it on my face because he scowls. “You don’t think I’m capable of more?” he asks, looking offended.

  Oh no. No matter what I say, it just drives the conversation further south, and now I’m navigating a metaphorical minefield. “I didn’t say that,” I say slowly.

  He gives me a brooding look. “You don’t have to; it’s written all over your face.” He turns his back on me and settles down on the floor in front of the motorcycle, clearly dismissing me.

  I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I’m only making things worse, so I reluctantly turn and leave, my heart heavier than it had been before.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Nathan

  As soon as I wake, I automatically check the calendar as I do every morning. I’d lost two days, and I’m not surprised. That conversation with my uncle had irritated the hell out of me, and I hadn’t been able to sleep or paint, so I’d gone for the next best thing—alcohol—to keep me from searching Elena out. I meant it when I’d said that I didn’t want things with my uncle tainting our relationship.

  I’m assuming Knight surfaced, and I don’t know why, but I reach for the journal and open it. Knight’s not the type to write—

  HEY ASSHOLE.

  A snort escapes me.

  Well, I guess it’s something.

  After a quick shower, I find myself anxious to find Elena. I’d like to make sure the past few days weren’t difficult for her. Unfortunately, she isn’t in the kitchen, but Cameron is.

  He looks at me and hesitates as he closes the refrigerator door that he’d been holding open.

  “It’s me, Nathan,” I tell him. Cameron looks relieved, and I instantly know something’s up. “Did something happen?”

  “Knight was in a foul mood yesterday.”

  I scowl. “What did he do now?”

  Cameron shrugs and comes over to stand before me. “Nothing out of the norm.” He seems to pause once more, almost as if he’s uncertain whether he wants to continue the conversation.

  “What?”

  “I get the impression that his mood had something to do with Elena,” he says as if choosing his words carefully.

  My eyebrows lift with surprise. “What do you mean?” Last I knew, those two were getting along just fine.

  “I honestly don’t know what’s going on.”

  I look around the empty kitchen and skim over the breakfast keeping warm. “Where is she?”

  “Laundry room. I think.”

  I fix him with a look. “You and Griffin are adults. You can do your own laundry, you know.”

  He shrugs. “It’s her job, right?”

  With a shake of my head, I walk away and head for the laundry room. I find Elena there, struggling to fold dry clothes. “Here, let me,” I say, reaching for the towel she’s struggling with.

  She turns with surprise, and uncertainty flares in her luminous eyes. “Nathan?”

  “Yeah.” I take over folding the towel as my eyes lock on hers. “What did I miss?” I ask as I observe her intently.

  Her eyes dodge mine as she sets two folded towels in the clothes basket. “Not much. Knight bought a motorcycle, a used one,” she quickly adds.

  “That’s all I need, because I certainly don’t have enough cars or motorcycles as it is,” I mutter. “Someday, I’m going to find that I’ve acquired a damn yacht.”

  Her eyes flicker to mine as a wry smile forms on her face.

  “I hear Knight was in a bad mood yesterday,” I comment.

  Once more, her eyes shift as she picks up a wash cloth and folds it with her good hand. “It could have been better,” she agrees.

  “Did he give a reason?” I ask as casually as I can.

  “Not really.”

  I study her but know when to back off. An odd feeling is taking over, and I need to find out what’s going on and why she’s hiding it. After I help her with the laundry, she insists on continuing with her routine, so I go up to the studio to give her some space.

  Instead of going to a blank canvas to work on a new painting, I walk to the window and stare out at the patio and pool down below. Just when I think I might be able to focus on Elena and perhaps coax our relationship along, Knight happens.

  I think back on everything Elena’s told me about him, and the only thing that stands out is that he’s made it clear he’d sleep with her if she were willing. Just the though brings on a fierce tidal wave of jealousy.

  Knight’s been hitting on her, that has to be it.

  Jesus.

  Can’t the bastard keep his dick in his pants around one single woman?

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Elena

  I’ve just finished preparing lunch—a task that usually brings me a sense of satisfaction, but my mood is still off from earlier. I’m still feeling bad for lying to Nathan, but I don’t want him to think that I’m longing for Knight, too. I’m worried that’s exactly what he’ll think if I confess how upset it makes me when Knight goes out.

  Nathan wanders into the kitchen. When he spies me, he looks at me expectantly. “Got a minute?”

  “Sure.”

  He motions for me to follow him, and I’m taken aback when he leads me just down the hall to the office. I’d thought he’d wanted to show me something in the studio.

  Once we’re inside, he closes the door and leads me to the chair near the window. Nerves lodge in my throat as I sit down. Something is going on that has nothing to do with our relationship. This appears to be business related.

  Nathan retrieves the chair from the desk and brings it over, taking a seat. His expression softens when he sees my anxiety. “Relax. I just want you to take advantage of the healthcare I’m providing. The billing and everything have already been handled,” he explains, his tone light.

  I look at him oddly. “My follow-up appointment isn’t for another four weeks,” I remind. Had he forgotten?

  His expression remains relaxed. “I was referring to an actual physical. Have you ever had one?”

  A physical? Like a check-up? “No…”

  His eyes are steady as he patiently says, “It’s just to make certain you’re in full health, and if you’re not, it’s good to catch things before they progress.”

  This can’t be happening. “Are you worried about STD’s?” I blurt, mortified that we’re having this conversation after the fact.

  Nathan takes my free hand in his, his eyes firm. “No. But for your sake, it might be wise to get checked. If you’re not comfortable with it, then you don’t have to request one.”

  I search his gaze. This seems to be coming from out of nowh
ere, and I don’t understand why he’s just now suggesting it. Is he beginning to worry that he might catch something from me? We’d used a condom… His request isn’t sitting well with me.

  “Why the sudden physical?” I ask, unable to simply let it go.

  “It isn’t mandatory, Elena. I’m just letting you know that healthcare is available. You can verify this with Griffin and Cameron, they have the same benefits.” His eyes remain on mine as his thumb strokes my palm. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be staying on in the beginning, so there was no point in bringing it up. Now that I know you’re not going anywhere, I figured now’s the time to get your healthcare started.”

  “Oh,” I say, and it comes out lame even to my own ears.

  He gives me a disappointed smile. “I had a feeling this conversation might be taken the wrong way, and I’m sorry for that. I suppose I could have waited, but you should be taking advantage of the same health benefits Cameron and Griffin are, so it didn’t seem fair to postpone the conversation.”

  His explanation makes me feel a little better, and now I feel bad for jumping to the wrong conclusion. It seems to happen a lot, and I don’t know how to prevent these kinds of doubts from creeping up on me. “I was already tested for STD’s,” I confess, figuring he should know.

  “You were?”

  I nod. “At a women’s clinic after my confrontation with Brick. I’m clean.”

  “That’s good to hear, but a physical is still a good idea. If you haven’t had the proper immunizations and vaccinations, that could lead to health issues in the future.”

  His suggestion makes sense. “Okay. When should I go?”

  “Dr. Bernard can squeeze you in today if you want. Griffin can take you. Or if you would like to wait and schedule it yourself, that’s fine too.”

  * * *

  Later that evening, I’m in Nathan’s studio keeping him company while he paints. I’m still a tad unsettled by my doctor’s appointment earlier. Not that it hadn’t gone well, it had, but the fact that Nathan himself had set it up for me is kind of bothersome. Employer’s don’t typically do that, do they?