FRAGMENTED Read online

  Because of Joseph’s will, Nathan became the heir to the multi-billion dollar fortune. Nathan’s uncle, William, took him in as his own, and became CEO of the company until Nathan could take his rightful place.

  I’m curious why Nathan hasn’t taken over the company since he’s now twenty-seven. From what I gather, William Lancaster is still running the company while Nathan pursues his art career—one that has been very lucrative through the years.

  As I fetch a clean pan from the cupboard, my heart begins to ache for the little boy that had witnessed the death of his entire family. I can’t even begin to imagine how much that little boy suffered. Up until the other day, I’d never heard of DID, but I understand now how that kind of trauma could shatter a child into splitting into multiple personalities simply to survive such a horrific experience.

  From what I understand from the research, all four alters are very real parts of Nathan. They’re him, who he is, except they’re fragmented instead of one whole personality. At least that’s my perception of the articles I’d read.

  I think back to the information I’d gleaned from Cameron. Nathan is clearly the steady…host? Main personality? I’m still not quite certain what to call him, but Knight is the protector, Brick holds all the anger, Corbin is the intelligent, business savvy side, and Oliver is the younger part of him.

  It all makes sense.

  Certain personalities take over when he can’t handle particular situations. Life would probably be easier for him, I mean them—if they were co-conscious, but they aren’t. Nathan’s not aware of what his alters are doing when they’ve taken over, and the other alters aren’t conscious of one another either.

  I wonder if he’s tried therapy to help understand his situation. As I dwell on Nathan and his alters, I remake the eggs. I’m learning that I don’t mind cooking, and for lunch, I’m going to try making BLT’s. They look easy enough.

  Once the eggs, sausage, and English muffins are ready, I place them buffet style on the island counter so that Cameron and Griffin can come along and help themselves.

  It takes me nearly five minutes to find a tray, and I carefully set a plate in the middle and dish up the eggs, sausage, and a muffin. I add a glass of orange juice, silverware, and even a small container of jelly. My presence had chased Nathan away before he could have his breakfast, so I’d like to make it up to him.

  I know I’m not supposed to go up to the second floor, but I’m only offering him breakfast. I would think that would be okay. Tentatively, I make my way up to the second level. Immediately, I hear music, so I follow the sound until I come upon a closed door. The music is hard rock and sounds angry.

  Careful not to jostle the tray, I set it on the floor beside the door. Then, I straighten and boldly knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting a response, so when I don’t receive one, I’m not surprised.

  I call loudly over the music, “I brought you breakfast!”

  Still no response, just music.

  He thinks I’m invading his home. That knowledge makes me feel uncomfortable, but I have a job to do, and I’m going to make sure I do it to the best of my ability.

  “I’ll just leave it beside the door!” I holler one last time before I turn and walk away.

  The rest of the morning, I work on organizing the kitchen and cleaning the rest of the estate. Of course, with as large as it is, it can’t be done in a day, so I tackle one room at a time.

  The BLT’s I make for lunch turn out to be pretty good, or at least when I’d tested one to make sure they’re edible, it’d been quite tasty. I’d tracked down Griffin and Cameron to let them know lunch was ready, and they’d seemed surprised that I’d sought them out. It’s my job to cook and clean, so it makes sense to let them know when meals are ready.

  I retrieve another tray from the cupboard, load up a plate, and head upstairs to the studio. The door is still closed, and I’m disappointed to see that Nathan hadn’t touched the breakfast I’d left for him.

  At least the music is no longer blaring. The volume had been lowered to a normal decibel. Balancing the tray with one hand, I lightly knock on the door. “I brought you lunch!” I call out.

  Again, my offer is ignored.

  “I’ll just leave it by the door,” I inform.

  Once I’ve set down the tray, I pick up the one from earlier and make my way back to the kitchen.

  Griffin and Cameron are both still in the kitchen, sitting at the island as they eat. A sense of satisfaction overcomes me from the sight of the men heartily eating the sandwiches I’d made. During the past few days, I’ve felt useful—in a good way. It’s fulfilling and has eased some of the upheaval inside me.

  Blue is also in the kitchen, avidly watching the men eat. The sight of the dog brings a smile to my face, and I snitch a piece of bacon off one of the extra sandwiches and bring it over to him.

  Blue, sensing he’s going to get a treat, sits down and looks up at me eagerly, licking his chops. I offer him the bacon, and he’s gentle as he takes it from my fingertips. As he gobbles up the meat, I pet his head.

  I glance at Cameron and Griffin, who are watching me interact with him. “Could I take him for a walk around the property?” I ask. It’d be nice to get some fresh air before I continue tackling the next room on my mental checklist of household responsibilities.

  “I don’t see why not,” Cameron says, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “His leash is in the laundry room hanging by the door.”

  “These are really good, Elena,” Griffin says almost grudgingly, referring to the sandwiches.

  I can feel myself beaming, and it’s impossible to hold back. “Thank you.” I turn to Blue. “Come along, Blue. Let’s go for a walk,” I urge.

  Blue seems to understand the word ‘walk,’ and bounces happily around my feet, following me closely as I leave the kitchen and head for the laundry room.

  Outside, it’s warm and sunny, and I smile to myself as Blue tugs on the leash, taking me for a walk rather than vice versa. I don’t mind though, and I simply enjoy the fresh air and the beauty of the area.

  The estate doesn’t have a sprawling landscape since we’re up in the hills, but the property is large enough for me to spend fifteen minutes wandering around its entirety. Of course, I stop here and there, either to admire the scenery, or Blue wants to sniff something or do some digging. I don’t let him dig anything too deep since I don’t want to take away his fun, and when we’re ready to move on, I use my foot to push the dirt back over the hole.

  Blue just looks at me as if saying, “I worked so hard to do that, why’d you ruin it?” With a laugh, I gently tug on his leash and urge him onwards to distract him from the mess.

  * * *

  Later that evening, I sit on one of the loungers by the pool and watch the sun sink lower in the sky. The stunning sunset was too much to resist, so I’d wandered outside.

  I never would have imagined how much my life would change in only a matter of days.

  Tears burn my eyes, and I slowly draw in a breath and exhale. No one is around to see me, but I am determined to keep my composure. I haven’t really let myself think upon how I got here, but I know I will eventually—and it’ll be painful.

  For now, I can simply appreciate that I don’t have to have sex with strangers, and no more taking my clothes off while I dance for men. My body is my own again, and maybe one day, I’ll learn to like myself once more.

  The sound of the patio door sliding open startles me, and I turn my head and look up. Nathan has wandered outside, and he’s standing by the pool staring out at the sunset—beer in hand. He hasn’t seen me yet since I am in the farthest lounger where a large, potted palm hides part of it.

  For a moment, I study him while he’s unaware of my presence. He’s wearing a pair of old jeans that hang low on his hips. A white tee hugs his upper body and darkens his tan. In the soft breeze, his dark hair stirs as he appears to be lost in thought. It’s weird looking at him and seeing Knight, but yet he’s not him. />
  He looks content, almost relaxed—until his head turns and he spies me. The second he does, his body visibly stiffens.

  I’m disappointed by his reaction and quickly scramble to my feet. If he wants to enjoy the sunset, I certainly don’t want to ruin it for him. As I walk towards him—the only way back into the house—he looks at me with unwelcoming eyes.

  I pull together a kind smile. “I’m not here to be in your way or invade your privacy. This job is important to me, and I won’t do anything to jeopardize it,” I say quietly.

  Before he can reply—which isn’t likely anyway, I walk back into the house.

  FIVE

  Elena

  During the next few days, I manage to fall into a routine. Cameron and Griffin have become more accepting of my presence. Nathan, however, likes to pretend that I don’t exist. It’s disheartening, but I remind myself that things could always be worse. He’s not going out of his way to make my job difficult, and I appreciate that. However, he is technically my boss, so I do my best to be helpful and yet professional.

  Today, he’s currently in the pool with Blue while I’m carefully slicing lemons for the pitcher of lemonade that I’d made. It’s shortly after lunch, and it’s a very humid day. Not that I’ve been outside much, but I’d taken note of the heat when I’d let Blue out to go do his business.

  Rarely do I see Nathan relax, so seeing him enjoy the pool makes him appear a little more approachable. Don’t get me wrong, he rattles me—a lot. But life would be a little more pleasant if we could strike up some sort of tolerable relationship. It’s difficult living here when I know I’m not wanted, and I haven’t been able to fully relax. That feeling of waiting to have the proverbial rug pulled out from beneath my feet—is still lurking deep within me.

  After I situate the lemon slices in the pitcher, I set it on a tray and retrieve a glass from the cupboard. Then, as carefully as I can, I carry the tray out of the kitchen and down the hall to the main room where the patio door is located.

  It’s a bit of a struggle to open the door, but I manage without dropping the tray or spilling the lemonade.

  When Nathan hears the door, he looks up from where he’s treading the water while Blue—paddling furiously—fetches the ball that Nathan had tossed across the pool. I don’t want to intrude on his leisure time, so I duck my head and cross the patio to a table near the edge of the enclosed, glass-paneled patio.

  In the corner of my vision, I see the tennis ball just miss the pool and bounce onto the patio. It rolls towards the corner where I’m standing as I set the tray down on the table.

  Wanting to be helpful, I automatically squat down and pick up the ball. Then, I step to the edge of the pool so I can toss it back into the water. Blue has other ideas though, and he’s already clambered out of the pool and currently racing full speed towards me.

  My eyes widen, and not wanting to get plowed into by a wet dog, I hurriedly throw the ball into the pool. It falls a few feet from Nathan with a small splash.

  As if in slow motion, it dawns on me that I should have just thrown the ball to Blue, because he’s sliding across the patio now, scrambling to change direction but he’s already reached me. As his body twists to lunge into the pool, his behind slams into my legs, throwing me off balance. My arms windmill as a panicked squeak escapes me before I lose my balance and tumble into the water.

  The cool water quickly closes in over my head, and I kick my feet, my arms desperately moving back and forth as I frantically try to reach the surface. I don’t know how to swim!

  My heart is thundering inside my chest as my lungs scream for oxygen. I’m moving my body as much as I can, but instead of going up, I seem to be sinking. It had all happened so fast, and I hadn’t thought to grab a breath before the water sucked me under. I’m still struggling to reach the surface when an arm slips around my ribcage.

  I’m quickly pulled to the surface, and the second my face clears the water, I cough and struggle to breathe at the same time. My natural instinct is to continue fighting the water, so my body twists against Nathan’s as I reach anxiously towards the ledge of the pool. My legs are colliding with his, and my elbow accidently jabs into his side.

  “Stop struggling, I’ve got you,” he orders as he maneuvers me so that my back is firmly against his hard chest.

  After gulping down my panic, I reluctantly go still as he uses his free arm to pull me towards the side of the pool. The sensation of his warm body pressing into mine, keeping me safe, brings a sense of calm that I hadn’t thought possible. “That’s it. Here we go,” he murmurs near my ear as he brings me to the ledge of the pool.

  I quickly grab it with both hands and try to pull myself out of the water, but my arms are shaking too badly. I feel Nathan’s hands settle on my hips, giving me a boost. With his help, I climb out of the pool and sit on the patio cement, coughing once more.

  That was horribly scary and something I hope I never, ever experience again.

  Nathan hauls himself out of the pool to squat down in front of me, his brows furrowed with disapproval. “You can’t swim,” he accuses.

  I shiver as I gaze at him. “I never learned.”

  Blue, sensing that something is amiss, moves closer to me, sniffing to see if I’m okay. I reach out and pet him, rubbing his ear.

  Nathan’s face darkens. “The pool is nine feet, stay away from it,” he says flatly. I watch as he rises to his feet and goes inside the house without a backward glance.

  Well, that completely backfired.

  Once I feel calmer and have pulled myself together, I go inside to change into dry clothes. Then, I go about my day as if nothing happened, though it doesn’t stray far from my mind. I’m incredibly lucky Nathan was out there, and now I know not to be anywhere near the pool when Blue is with me. Had that happened when no one was around…

  I shake off that bad thought and concentrate on my job.

  A while later, I’ve just come from cleaning one of the guest rooms when I spy muddy pawprints on the hallway floor. What in the world? My eyes follow the prints that make their way upstairs. There’s also pawprints coming down the stairs as well. Blue must’ve been digging in the yard after getting out of the pool, and he’d wandered throughout the house.

  Lovely.

  “Blue!” I call out and wait, listening to hear if he’s still inside.

  Silence.

  He must be back outside.

  With a bemused shake of my head, I go get the mop and bucket and begin cleaning the pawprints. Some of them are very faint as the mud had already rubbed off his paws.

  After carefully cleaning the stairs, I make my way into the upstairs hallway. It’s not until I’m nearly finished that I realize the studio door is slightly ajar.

  Naturally, I’m curious.

  I move the mop across the already clean floor and casually peek into the room. Nathan is nowhere to be seen. As tempting as it is to snoop, I hover in the doorway and tell myself not to give in. I really shouldn’t. But…maybe whatever he’s working on will give me some insight? He’s always so moody and tense.

  After looking up and down the hall, verifying that no one appears to be around, I set the mop against the wall and sneak inside the studio. The walls are all white, and the windows are large, allowing lots of natural light into the room. Empty canvases are resting against the base of the wall, and there are several easels situated around the room. Most have cloth draped over the canvases still secured to them, but one is uncovered.

  I step around a cloth on the floor and study the unfinished painting. The color scheme is dark, and an elaborate, gothic staircase is going upwards, suspended on the canvas. The staircase is leading to something, but evidently Nathan has yet to decide where it’s going or what it’ll reach, because the upper part of the canvas is blank.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  At the sound of Nathan’s voice, I gasp and spin around, a guilty hand going to my chest. I’ve been caught red-handed, and there’s
no excuse for my nosiness.

  He’s standing just inside the room, his expression thunderous from catching me in his most private space.

  I feel terrible, and I know I’ve messed up—badly. “I…the door was open,” I say softly. If only I could go back in time and just walk away from temptation. Inwardly, I sigh. I’m sure there’s been plenty of people who’ve had that same exact wish.

  “So you took it upon yourself to snoop?” he asks, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

  “No…” I sigh, knowing there’s no amount of apologizing that’s going to fix this. “Yes,” I confess.

  “This room is off limits,” he says through gritted teeth, his eyes nearly scorching me with their anger.

  “I’m sorry,” I say sincerely, quickly hurrying for the door. I pause in the doorway and gaze back at him. “For what it’s worth—”

  Somehow, his expression manages to darken further.

  “Right.” I slowly exhale and walk away.

  * * *

  My mood is somber the following morning. Knowing Nathan has reason to dislike me further is like an ominous cloud hanging over my head. I shouldn’t have snooped, and I know it was wrong. But I’m also human, and the reasoning behind my intention wasn’t bad…I just wanted to learn more about him. Explaining that to him though is impossible.

  It’s strange working for a man that would fire me in a heartbeat if he could. If it wasn’t for Knight’s threats, I’d be back at the club right about now. That brings on a shudder, and I try to get out of my head and focus on making pancakes. Everyone loves pancakes, right? So far, no one has complained over my cooking, so I’m going to keep branching out and making different things.

  I look up as someone enters the kitchen, and I blink with astonishment. Nathan is dressed in a business suit and wearing glasses. I thought Knight and Nathan’s casual clothing were attractive, but the sharp suit that molds to his masculine frame is just as engaging. And those glasses… They actually look really good on him, and with his attire, he looks ready to command a boardroom.